Svitkona
by Mikha
Summary: Katrina has many questions for Arya concerning Eragon, but the answer to one, could answer them all. Saphira observes.


Svit-kona

_A fanfiction by Mikha_

The Inheritance Cycle, and all its names, belongs to Christopher Paolini, no intention of infringing copyrights 

Enjoy ^_^

To some it was evident already, but most were still oblivious. Katrina preferred it that way, for people who knew tended to make the most impertinent comments. Not that very afternoon had she been told what a pity it was that Roran was always on missions, and might get killed and never get to meet his child.

As if Katrina hadn't thought about that before.

She wished they would just keep their mouths shut, mind their own business, their own husbands, and just let her be. But no, people were a curious bunch, and it made her feel a bit guilty about what she was about to do.

After all, this could count her as another curious, impertinent person. But it had come to the point where she felt she had no choice. She had to know, and she was going to find out. It was the perfect night to do so.

Stealing out of her tent, she walked about the quiet camp. It was already quite late, and only those keeping watch remained awake. Still, she kept vigilant, she did not want anyone to know what she was doing.

_Going somewhere?_

Saphira's thoughts scared her so much, she even jumped on the spot, a hand at her chest. No matter how much she liked Saphira, she was just not used to having anyone else in her head.

To keep quiet, she merely nodded, knowing well that, if Saphira had seen her walking, she would also see her nod. It had taken her by surprised, for she had assumed that she would be away, too. Apparently, it was not so.

_Are you feeling alright?_

She nodded again, and with each step neared the tent she was looking for. Just before she reached the flap, she felt Saphira softly land behind her, the wind ruffling her hair, and the earth trembling a bit. Should she send her away? After all, what she had in mind concerned Eragon, but she would prefer it if he did not find out. Neither he nor Roran…

"Arya Svit-kona?" she whispered, and not a second later, the elf had pulled aside the flap and was looking her straight in the eyes. Despite herself, Katrina felt a bit intimidated.

"Katrina," Arya said, and Katrina curtsied. "And Saphira, I see."

Katrina could see that the elf and dragon exchanged thoughts, but she could not hear. At any rate, she did not want to pry either. What she was about to do was already bad enough.

"How can I help you?" Arya asked after a moment, and Katrina hesitated, looking about. "Would you like to come in?" When she nodded, Arya stood aside and let her in. "Saphira?"

"She can stay," Katrina decided, and let Arya guide her to a small cot, where they sat. Meanwhile, Saphira stuck her head into the tent, cramping the space, and closing her eyes. To Katrina, she was like a sentinel, and she found that she welcomed it. No matter how strange her relationship with the dragon was, it was much less strained than that with the elf.

"Are you feeling well?" Arya asked, her voice impassive, as usual.

"I am, thank you. I apologize for barging in on you like this. I hope you were not yet asleep?"

"I was not," Arya assured her, her dark eyes boring into Katrina's. "Is there something on your mind? Are you worried about Roran?"

"Always, Arya Svit-kona, but that is not why I'm here."

The elf tilted her head to one side, observing the girl in front of her. The unusual gesture surprised Katrina, who felt as if she were being examined. The silence dragged on for a while, for she did not know whether she should speak or not. At last, it was Arya who broke it.

"Why do you call me Svit-kona?" she asked, not unkindly.

"Because…" she hesitated. "That's what Eragon said you called people of great wisdom. He's referred to you as that, so I thought…"

"You do not need to call me that. Arya is just fine."

"But aren't you like… a princess?"

Arya stiffened.

"Did Eragon tell you that?"

"No, no!" Katrina raised her hands quickly. "It was Saphira. And I do hope she doesn't mind that I've told you, and that you are not angry. I don't want to get anyone into trouble."

_I do not mind_, Saphira thought, taking a deep breath, but not opening her eyes.

"And I am not angry," Arya said. After a pause, "Why are you here, Katrina? What can I do for you?"

"I have a question for you," Katrina said. She could not hold Arya's gaze for too long, so she looked down, knowing herself to be blushing.

"Only one?" Arya asked at the same time that Saphira snorted.

"Yes," Katrina looked up, wondering why that seemed so hard to believe. "One question, only."

"Will that answer all your doubts?"

"What do you mean?"

"I am not reading your thoughts, that would be impolite, but I can feel what you feel. You are full of questions."

"Yes, but I believe that the answer to one of them, answers the rest."

Even Saphira opened her eyes now, looking at Katrina with interest. Arya, on her part, seemed to have been surprised for once.

"Then, please, do ask."

It was a challenge.

Katrina nodded, and swallowed. Thinking it up was much easier than actually doing it, but she knew that, if she were to have any peace of mind, she had to ask.

"You lost the one you loved, didn't you?"

She saw the stiffening of Arya's eyes, and knew the question had hit home, whether it was the right one or not. It was a violation of her privacy, and she knew Arya would not take lightly to it. It had been the risk all along, but one Katrina had been willing to take.

_Was it really necessary?_ Saphira asked, still not closing her eyes, which were now locked on Arya. Katrina nodded for her benefit. _She will not take it well._ Katrina nodded again. _I guess you two are related in a way… I just hope your Roran doesn't come asking her impertinent questions, too…_

Katrina felt well tempted to ask what Saphira meant, but resisted the urge. Arya was no longer sitting next to her, but pacing in small circles around the tent. Then she stopped, an arm on the central pillar, her back to Katrina.

"Did Eragon put you up to this?" she asked, resentfully.

"No! Of course not!" Katrina stood, her arms spread, as she tried to justify herself.

"Why do you ask this of me, then?"

"Because I think that would explain to me the way you are, and why you are like that."

"And why would you want to know that? What gives you the right?"

"Nothing gives me the right, perhaps, but I want to know, because I know that when it comes to the chain of command, my husband's life may depend on your judgement. Every time he goes, I am trusting him to you." She took a deep breath. "And I'm not blind, Arya Svit-kona. I can see he has feelings for you, though he does not talk to me about it. Why should he anyway? I don't even know if he talks to Roran about it! I ask because I want to know."

_He has talked with Roran about it_, Saphira said. _And he understands that it cannot be._

"Elves do not have the same feelings as humans," Arya said, turning to her angrily. "We do not 'love' like you do. We do not get carried away by such emotions, they do not make sense to us, and we do not need them. Your question is both insulting and daring. Please, leave."

Katrina started. She had expected as much, but still, she had hoped for an answer. Understanding there was nothing more to be said, she stood up, as Saphira straightened herself, and followed her out of the tent. As she stood on the threshold, she turned towards Arya once more. The elf stood with her back to her again.

"I apologize," Katrina said, and walked back into the night.

_That wasn't very wise_, Saphira commented.

"I know," Katrina whispered, shaking her head.

_What were you trying to accomplish?_

"Surely you understand, Saphira. Surely you want to know, too, why Eragon must suffer this rejection."

_They are different races. She is 85 years older than he is…_

"Does it matter to him?"

_No._

"Exactly my point."

_Do not presume Eragon hasn't told her himself of his feelings. More than once, in fact, and none of those times did it end well._

"But he hasn't given up. And he probably won't."

_No. He will not._

"I do not regret asking, Saphira. I will only regret it if my question puts a strain on their friendship, but I hope Arya is wise enough not to let my impertinence guide her anger."

_That, she is._

They had reached Katrina's tent, and stood just outside it. She looked about, and then looked back at Saphira.

"Will you return to Eragon's tent, or would you mind staying here?"

_I can stay._

"Thank you, Saphira."

_Go to sleep._

Katrina looked down, nodded, and then went back inside her tent. Roran would not be back until mid-morning, she knew. He and Eragon were out scouting on Nasuada's orders, and the stealthy character of the mission had not allowed Saphira to go. If she could at least provide the dragon with some company, she knew the separation would be easier on both of them.

With those thoughts, she got into her cot. She was asleep in minutes.

She awoke startled. Something in the tent had changed, she knew, she could feel it. Through her closed eyes she could tell it was still dark. She noticed then, that the air was warmer, and turning towards the entrance, she noticed Saphira's head poking in.

Before she could speak, she was beaten to it by a whisper opposite her cot.

"His name was Fäolin."

Sitting up, she saw Arya sitting with her legs drawn up on one of the trunks. She was looking away through the flap, above Saphira's head, into the moonlight. Her face, usually devoid of emotion, had a tinge of sadness in it.

Unsure of what to do, Katrina remained quiet, sitting on her cot, observing the elf in front of her. The silence continued for a moment, while Arya seemed lost in a time far away.

"As I've told Eragon, we were companions, and friends."

Another silence.

"In our standards, that's what we were, but to me, he was much more than that. Perhaps it is because I've spent so much time with your race, and the dwarves, that I began to understand what it was like, and how I came to feel it myself. When Eragon asked me if I had loved Fäolin, I did not give him a direct answer. I could not. That kind of love, what he was asking me, is not something elves feel. Not even once in a while, bcause we have better control of our emotions than that. That's how we are made…"

She sighed.

"… but I did."

She looked down, then at Katrina.

"I did love Fäolin. He meant to me much more than anyone else ever did, and ever will. And then… and then he was gone, and I could do nothing to protect him."

"I understand," Katrina said after another long silence.

"Does that answer all your questions?" Arya finally looked at her.

"It does."

"Will you tell me what the questions were?"

"I do not wish you to think ill of me."

Arya straightened herself and walked towards Katrina, looking at her fully in the eyes. Then she smiled feebly.

"You command the respect of everyone in your village, and even most of the Varden, including Nasuada."

"Why would I do that?" Katrina asked, confused. "I have not fought, I have not defended the people, I…" Her eyes widened. "If this is because of being captured by the Ra'zak and surviving…"

"It isn't," Arya quickly assured her. "People respect you because whatever anyone may think, Roran is the way he is, because of you. He became the warrior, the leader he is, because he loves you. Your village owes Roran their freedom, and so, indirectly, they owe it to you. The Varden do not owe you their liberty, but many of those men owe Roran their lives, and so you."

"But…"

"I know it seems hard to think people think highly of you because of a position. But trust me, I respect you for yourself. I do believe you to be equally brave as Roran. Perhaps you do not take arms and fight, but you protect fiercely. If not, you would not have come to my tent tonight and ask me that question, and I would not have seen myself compelled to answer. You have earned the respect. Treasure it."

Looking down, Katrina nodded, not sure how she should react to that.

"May I hear your questions, now?" Arya asked, sitting next to her. "You see, it makes me feel vulnerable to know that with one answer I could appease all sort of questions."

"I understand that," Katrina said, "so I will tell you."

In front of them, Saphira exhaled, and closed her eyes once more.

_Well done._

"I guess the most pressing question was why you were so fierce in battle. I know women who go to arms, and weren't I pregnant, I'd do it myself, I think, but you… you are of another sort. You dress like a man, you fight like one. It seems to me you combine yourself with the memory of someone else."

"Fäolin and I used to practice together…"

"I know now what the Empire took from you, which also explains your drive."

Arya nodded.

"But most of all… I can see why you cannot answer Eragon's feelings. I broke my head over and over, wondering if there was something wrong with him…"

Saphira grunted angrily, startling her.

"I did not mean I thought there was something wrong with him," she said, assuring the dragon. "I just wondered if there was something I'd missed, something he'd missed himself. But I see that the fear was unfounded. There is nothing wrong with him. Your heart just cannot be given away, not when you've given it to another, regardless of him being here or not."

Arya was quiet for a moment. Then…

"Katrina Svit-kona. How wise beyond your years you are."

Blushing to her roots, Katrina shook her head.

"Don't tell me that, I don't deserve it."

"You do, more than you can imagine. Thank you for clearing my doubts."

"I'm sorry I put you into such a difficult position."

Arya shook her head.

"And you will not tell Eragon of our talk?"

"I will not."

"Saphira?"

_If he doesn't ask…_

"Well, don't prompt him, too," Katrina smiled.

"I take my leave then." She meant to go, but hesitated at the door, turning back towards the cot. "Katrina… this may sound strange but, could I hear your child?"

"I'm sorry?"

"May I?"

"Yes, but… how?"

Leaning over her, Arya set a hand on her belly and closed her eyes. For a moment, nothing happened, but then she smiled, and even chuckled. For a few minutes she remained like that, then broke the contact. The smile on her face was still bright.

_Heard something interesting?_ Saphira asked in both their minds.

"I did," she nodded, and then walked back out of the tent. "Your child is strong, Katrina, like its parents." And she left.

Katrina stayed in bed, motionless, unable to grasp what had just happened. Whatever it was, it had been good, and that left a smile on her face as well. Things had turned out different than she had imagined, but they had turned out well.

_You seemed pleased_, Saphira told her when she was lying down again.

"I am."

_But what you concluded was that Arya can never return Eragon's feelings, because she loved that Fäolin elf._

"You misunderstand, Saphira."

_How so?_

"Arya cannot give her heart to Eragon now because it belongs to someone else. Maybe in time, as the pain lessens, she might be able to let herself once again, without her elven conventions. In time, she might allow herself to truly love Eragon."

_How can you be sure?_

"Oh, I can't, but I can hope for it."

_Then I shall hope with you, even if it should prove to be in vain._

"We shall never know until it happens."

_Right you are, Katrina Svit-kona._

And so Katrina allowed herself to fall asleep again, reassured that things were not as hopeless as she had once thought. She was happy to know that her child was safe, and happy to think that, in a few hours, she would find herself in Roran's arms again.

And the new hope she harboured, burned like a little flame first, before raging in her chest. The same burning sensation coursed through Saphira, as she also settled to sleep.

Somewhere else in the camp, the flame burned, too.


End file.
